Life Is Never Black and White
by GreyEyesGlaringAtShonda
Summary: Summary: Life is never black and white...just grey. A look into the life of each of the doctor’s childhoods, starting with Isobel Stevens. Each surgeon will get their own chapter. UPDATED.
1. Izzie Stevens

A Grey's Anatomy Fanfic

**Life Is Never Black and White**

By greyeyedgirl

Summary: Life is never black and white...just grey. A look into the life of each of the doctor's childhoods, starting with Isobel Stevens. (Each surgeon will get their own chapter.)

Author's Note: This idea just sort of came to me, and I'm not sure how it's going to turn out. This first chapter is about Izzie, I'm just going to write what comes into my head and hope it turns out okay...

Chapter 1-_Eternal Beauty, The Beginnings of A Model Doctor._

Date: January 13th, 1991

"Izzie!" Lauren Stevens called to her daughter as she walked into the 3-bedroom trailer. "There's groceries in the wagon, can ya get 'em for me? I have to call Madame Lola."

A tall, attractive 13-year-old looked up from her seat at the counter in their tiny kitchen. "Yeah, Mom," she called, blowing the long blond hair off her face as she closed her eighth grade science book, titled "Core to Crust: The Basis of Our Earth." She worked her way outside, bracing herself against the cold Ohio wind as she opened the door to the family's run-down old station wagon. She grabbed the bags and the gallon of milk sitting in the front, bumping the door shut as she headed back inside.

"We got out mid-terms back-" she started, as she headed back into the kitchen where her mother was talking on the phone. "Not now, Cricket," her mother said, distractedly. "Madame Lola says my biorhythms are looking hazy for this evening."

Izzie sighed quietly as she took her science book off of the counter and headed down the narrow hallway to her room. "I got a 97," she finished quietly to herself.

Date: June 5th, 1991

"Last day of school!" April Golding exclaimed to her best friend. "Can you believe in a few months we'll be in high school?"

Izzie laughed. "Hardly. But it isn't like we don't still have a _bunch _of school left. 12 years." She sighed, but kept the smile on her face.

The girls walked in silence for a while, as they headed home from the school that they had attended for the last 3 years for the last time.

"Hey, Izzie?" April said softly.

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever have...doubts...about becoming a doctor?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, Izzie, it's just that sometimes I think about it, and it's scary. The thought of slicing somebody open, and putting your hand inside like...the root of their existence. What if we can't handle it?"

Izzie was quiet. "I guess that's the hard part."

April laughed, obviously regretting bringing the subject up. "You mean, the hard part besides the parts where you work 48-hour shifts and have to go to school for 21 years."

Izzie laughed too. "Exactly."

The girls walked the rest of the way without saying anything, and Izzie felt perturbed as she opened the door to her trailer. An odd sight came before her.

Her mother was standing in the living room, clutching a phone extension in her hand looking pale, her long white-blond hair lying limply on her shoulders. "Izzie..." She murmured. "Your father called."

_Pause_

"What?"

"Your-your father. He's coming home."

Izzie stared. "Mom, are you okay? I mean, Dad's been gone for 6 years. And it's not like we _miss_ him."

Lauren frowned. "Don't speak of your father like that. He's a good man."

Izzie's face contorted, even furious she looked pretty. "A good man? Just how thick _are_ you, really? _Good men_ don't leave their families. _Good men_ don't HIT and YELL at those families BEFORE he leaves them. _Good men_ don't-"

"That was a long time ago, Izzie. Your father's changed. He got himself fixed up, the drinking's not a part of him anymore."

Izzie stared at her mother, anger still resting in her cheeks, hatred shining in her eyes. Or maybe that was just tears. She shut her mouth, as she turned silently away from her mother and, with her head hanging, found her way back to her room.

June 6, 1991.

"My father's home." Izzie's voice was calm, but her eyes showed something different as she stood in the doorway of April's room.

April sprung up from her bed, her brown hair bouncing. "What?"

"Last night. He came home. Mom thinks he's not drunk anymore."

"What-but-" April paused. "What's he like?"

Izzie was quiet for a moment, her face expressionless. "He looks the same. A different haircut from what I remember."

"Is he-I mean-" April stilled seemed to be struggling. "How long is he staying?"

"Mom thinks forever."

April stared.

"Duh, April. He still smells like beer."

"Has he-I mean...Is he...the same?"

"He hasn't hit either of us yet, if that's what you mean."

"Oh, uh, I just meant-"

"He's still angry. I could see it."

April was quiet, and she nodded slightly. "Yeah."

September 12, 1991

"You ! What's the matter with you, you gotta call every god 'psychic' in the country? The f'in horoscope in the paper aint good enough for you? I'm not made of money!"

Izzie hugged her pink teddy bear tightly, as she heard the _thunk_ in the next room that meant her mother was going to have a black eye in the morning. She pulled the covers over her head, recognizing even to herself the irony of the past repeating itself. The stench of alcohol in the hall, the glaze of her father's eyes, the small blond girl huddled in her bed with her teddy bear as the voices rang through the trailer. She could remember her early years so well when this happened. Her memory sprung open, hearing voices of the past mix with the fresh tears of her present.

_"A man comes home, expects a meal on the table, not you huddled over that kid like she's a life preserver. She's not a baby, she can read to herself."_

**"Spendin' all my cash, trying to stash my beer, what the f's wrong with you?" _thunk _**

_"All you do is baby that kid, your gonna make her a nothin, a piece of crap like you!"_

Her mother's voice shook in Izzie's memory. _"Pete, please-You'll wake her-"_

**"What's the matter? That hurt? Maybe that'll teach you a lesson, you son-of-a-"**

Izzie buried her head further, trying to drown it all out, before grabbing a book from her night stand and a flashlight and carefully, stealthily creeping down the hall and out the door. She ran to the park 3 blocks away, feeling the deep check of her breath as she pushed herself, hearing the beat of her heart in her head, and pushing the tears off her face. She spread herself out on a bench, opening the book she'd checked out from the library and a few days before. She whispered the first sentence aloud, feeling the wind blow her hair as she focused her mind.

"_The muscle known as the heart is probably the most major organ, and is broken into many sections, all of which serve a purpose that coincides with the main function of the heart..."_

When Izzie went home the next morning, her father was gone.

AN: That didn't turn out like I expected, and I know, slightly awkward ending, sorry. I'll try to write more to her story if anyone wants, but it's probably finished. Please review and be honest, I really appreciate it. I hope you liked it, though!


	2. Derek Shepherd

Life is Never Black and White

Grey's Anatomy Fanfic, Chapter 2, Derek Shepherd

Author: **Greyeyedgirl**

Author's Email: Don't own GA.

Summary: Chapter 2 is up, as we find out about Derek's sisters and his love for ferryboats.

The harsh New York City air blew harshly against Derek Shepherd's face as he walked the few blocks home from school, listening to the conversation of his four older sisters, walking a few feet ahead of him.

"Uh-huh. Mrs. Daniels said if he talked out like that again, he'd be suspended."

"Dad's gonna be so mad!"

The oldest of the four girls, Danielle, switched her backpack from her left shoulder to her right as she turned her head back to look at Derek. "Why do you have to do keep disrupting class, Derek? All you do is get Mom and Dad mad at each other." Derek's head remained tilted towards the sidewalk, as his ten-year-old brain concentrated on counting the pieces of multi-colored gum sprinkling the sidewalk. Danielle turned back to the conversation, ignoring him again. The four Shepherd girls kept talking, as they reached their apartment building on the Upper East side. The doorman, Bryan, opened the door for them, and Danielle, Ashley, Katie, and Megan each flashed him the same charming smile. They stepped onto the elevator in silence, Derek brushing a tiny tear off his face. He lifted his head and examined his four sisters, leaning side by side against one of the walls of the elevator.

Danielle, at fourteen, was the oldest and tallest. She had shoulder-length hair the same shade as her sisters and Derek's. All the Shepherd girls had brown eyes the color of their father's, but Derek had their mother's bluish-green eyes. Danielle was tall and pretty, with her face structured much like Derek's.

Ashley was the next oldest, having just turned 13. She was short and stocky, with a mass of dark curly hair almost down to her waist. She was the splitting image of their mother, except for the big brown eyes framed with thick lashes.

Next was Katie, 12 years and two months. She was the shortest of all of them, including Derek. She had a pretty smile that lit up her face, but at the moment it was drawn into a scowl as she got glances at Derek.

Megan was the youngest of the girls, almost 11 and a half. She was almost a head taller than Katie, and the quietest out of all the talkative sisters. Her hair was put in a ponytail, as always, but dark curly hair still sprinkled down her back. As the four sisters stood there, waiting for the elevator to rise to the penthouse, she shot glances at her sisters, before forcing her face into a replica of their frowns.

The elevator door binged, and the doors came sliding open. Derek stood defiantly as Danielle shot him dirty looks while she inserted the key. She opened the door, and the four girls shoved their way through, with Derek following quietly. He walked to his bedroom in silence, seeing his sisters exchange dark glances.

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"Again, Derek?" Stan Shepherd was a short man, but intimidating, with thick black hair and large, slightly tired brown eyes. "I get home from work, tired and wanting to go to bed, and this is what I have to deal with? You being a smart guy at school? Can't you just be good like your sisters?"

Derek looked up at his father, his small, sweet face scrunched up in anger. "You think they're good? Danielle gets a detention once every two weeks, Katie skips gym class, and Ashley cheats on her homework!"

"Then how come I'm not getting called in every three weeks to talk to the headmistress about THEM? Honestly, Derek, I'm not sure what we're going to do about you-"

"What's going on?" Derek's mother, Rachel Shepherd, had come into the apartment. Derek and Stan turned to look. Rachel looked at her husband's face and sighed. "Again, Derek?"

Derek bowed his head. "I'm sorry."

"Rachel, honestly, you can't baby him about these things-"

"Honestly, Stan, you're acting like this is some huge deal! Making jokes in class shouldn't be a crime, he's just looking for attention, and who can blame him, with you fawning over the girls all the time-"

"Rachel, that doesn't give him the right to disrupt-"

Derek quietly slipped out of the room, leaving his parents to argue. He headed down the hallway to his own room, seeing Ashley headed to hers as she stepped out of the bathroom, wearing a pink nightgown and holding a teddy bear. She looked sad as the voices of their parents carried into the hallway. "You've done it this time, haven't you?" She asked, shaking her head at him as they walked past a white door with a large pink "D" attached to it. She sent him another glare as she opened the door to her and Katie's bedroom, sliding into the room and closing the door. Derek bent his head.

"Pssst! Derek!" He looked up, and saw Megan peeking her head out of the door to her bedroom, shooting scared glances at the door to her sisters' rooms. "Come here," she whispered. Derek looked at her, anticipating the worst, but walked down the hall and into her room.

He didn't go in Megan's room very often, he tried to keep his distance from the girls as much as possible. Megan's room was light blue, different from the bright pink of Danielle's and the flowered wallpaper of Ashley and Katie's. A few writing and spelling awards hung on her walls, and her bed was stuffed-animal-free. "Sit down," she invited, sitting down on one edge of her bed. "Are you hungry? I've got a bag of candy stashed around here somewhere."

Derek looked at her quietly, confused at her behavior. "Megan?" He asked uncertainly. She looked at him, and sighed. "Come on, little brother," she told Derek, who was only just 9 months younger than her. She stood up and led him to her bed, her arm around his shoulder. "It's okay," she said quietly, as their father's voice drifted down the hall. Derek looked at her, and felt tears filling in his eyes. "Is it really my fault they fight?"

Megan looked at him sadly, and shook her head. "Being a doctor is tough, Derek. Daddy works long hours, and Mom gets lonely with us gone all day. That's why they're always fighting." She took a deep breath, struggling for hair as her eyes filled. "These days everything puts them on edge," she said, her voice gasping as the tears full. "Derek, they're even in counseling!"

Derek laid next to her on the bed, and leaned his head against hers, their dark curly hair mixing on the pillow. "I know," he said quietly. "But at least they're trying to make it work, right?"

Megan's breathing shallowed, as she turned her head slightly to look at him. "Hey, Derek?"

"Uh huh."

"Tomorrow let's go see the ferry boats, okay?"

Derek smiled. "Okay."

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The harbor was warm on that Saturday morning, as Derek and Katie loaded onto the ferry boat. They made their way to a cushioned bench on board, Katie's ponytail blowing in the wind. They were both quiet as they sat down, and Derek closed his eyes, remembering when they were little and their parents would bring the girls and him on a ferry boat every Saturday morning. That was before Dr. Shepherd had opened up his private practice, and had started to work more shifts.

Katie leaned her head against Derek's shoulder, and he could smell the scent of her hair as it tickled his chin. It was comforting.

"Hey, Derek?" She said quietly.

"Uh huh?"

"I have a thing for ferry boats."

Derek smiled. "Okay."


End file.
